We've all been there.
Whether you're getting changed at the gym and its the guy on the other side of the locker room emptying half a can of Axe likes its going out of style (it is!) or you're seated at a restaurant beside a dude that, well it might be covering up his first date armpit sweat, a bystander such as yourself shouldn't be able to taste his equally smelly cover-up.
Yes, we're talking about the douche elephant in the room: BODY SPRAY.
Body Spray has granted young men and women the power to apply a cataclysmic amount of over powering, crude fragrance for everyone within a kilometer radius to enjoy.
No class, and all sass.
And that's not good for either guys or girls.
So, without further ado, let's dive deep into why body spray is awful.
Trashy Scent
You know it from a mile away: body spray smells like trash. The scent is overpowering when you're up close and just all around smells "cheap." Body spray smells "cheap" because it smells extremely unnatural. Although colognes are often created synthetically, body sprays do not even closely resemble the actual scent.
A body spray that's supposed to contain hints of chocolate doesn't actually smell like chocolate. Instead, it smells like artificial, pseudo-Franken-chocolate.
The lack of resemblance to the genuine scent is instantly recognizable once you smell it.
And that's why body spray smells like trash.
You're Forced To Over Spray
Body spray tends to only last for a very short period of time, often 2 hours or less on average. Although the duration of a fragrance depends on a multitude of factors, including skin moisture, spraying environment, and the fragrance's chemistry among other factors, most colognes do not fizzle and die an unruly and short death after 52 minutes.
Because of this, young gents and ladies tend to apply more spray in the morning, after the gym, before a big date, etc. In doing so, their body spray just becomes more over powering in the short-term and doesn't actually extend the duration of the scent by all that long.
Combined with the fact that body spray atomizers act more like a can of Febreze than they do an actual quality fragrance atomizer, thereby people tend to just hold their finger down on the trigger like there's no tomorrow.
Cheap Bottles
You could disagree with all of the above, but if for no other reason you should prefer cologne/perfume over body spray than for simply the design of the bottles themselves.
The comparison isn't even close.
You know when you see a cologne bottle that actual time, money, and effort was spent into designing the bottle and giving the wearer the satisfaction of looking at it. When you look at a bottle of body spray, you know the bottle was designed purely, 100% for the sole purpose of selling for mass consumption.
It's very clear that there's no craftsmanship whatsoever in a can of body spray.
Your girlfriend isn't going to be impressed by a bottle of body spray. But, she just might be impressed by a bottle of Versace Eros sitting on your bathroom counter...
The great Versace Eros with a stylish twist-up atomizer bottle...
You're Getting Ripped Off
You're spending $5-$20 on a cheaply designed can of a cheap scent with a cheap duration.
While understandably body spray is targeted at those with less disposable income (thereby teenagers and young adults primarily), there is no excuse for parading around a trashy scent when there are much better options available.
Put it into perspective. You could run down to Wal-Mart and pick up a more expensive, "high quality bottle of body spray" (hint: there isn't any) for maybe $15 or $20 bucks. Or, you could get a premium, designer cologne with a 1000 Scents Cologne Subscription for only $19.99.
That's right, a can of trash for $15 or a vial of awesome for $20.
The can of trash will last you a half a month or a month at best, depending on how you apply it.
The vial of awesome is a complete monthly supply that will upgrade your scent game and life as a whole.
Choose wisely.
You can get yourself a vial of awesome here.